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When it rains, it pours...

The other day I decided to download Google Chrome (Google's attempt at a browser), and while I have been using Firefox for the past few years I actually enjoyed Chrome until I tried to view my friends page and had all the posts showing up in the centre and thus the text was only half visible due to the blue background. Shows up fine in Firefox. I am sure there is some setting in Chrome I can change to rectify the problem, but I am too bothered to do that at the moment.

So the argument, or rather the yelling I put up with from my mother on the phone yesterday changed into a more "caring" tone today when she called me this morning. She called me around 9:30am but I ignored her calls until about 11:45am as I was still in bed trying to sleep. I then called her to find out what she had wanted. Turns out she had emailed someone from City TV News (a Toronto television station), and within about 10 minutes she got a response back from the health reporter for the noon edition of the news.

Apparently the reporter was interested by my mom's email and later in the afternoon called her to set up a meeting on Thursday afternoon. So I am assuming she is coming out with a cameraman to interview my mother and I. Should be interesting if nothing else to see what sort of questions she ask me regarding my situation. However I am sitting on the fence about this as it came about so quickly and the last thing I need is to have this turn into a circus show where I am then ridiculed by the public for my physical appearance.

Being super morbidly obese I have to tolerate a lot. I can deal with children pointing me out and yelling out "Look at that very fat man!", while their parents grab them by the hand and tell them to be quiet. It is one thing to have a child say something, but to have to deal with adults is another thing entirely.

Yes I may overeat at times to comfort myself from the struggles I face on a daily basis. Obesity is a disease whether people want to believe that or not. I don't use that as a scapegoat however as I realize there are choices I could make to better the situation. There are people out there who eat nothing but junk food and are 6'2" and 170lbs with little to no physical activity, while someone else of the same height can eat the same food and gain weight even if they are much more active.

Anyway I am going off the topic at hand...Basically I want to try and open the eyes of people that are heading in my direction. Getting to 750lbs is not at all fun. It is a struggle to just do the things people do everyday. The problem is the stigma that still lingers that people who are obese did this to themselves. Society kicks people like me to the ground constantly when you think you can't get any further down.

It is funny how the government is inclined to cover the cost of sex change operations for individuals but the lap-band procedure is not covered by OHIP because it is considered "cosmetic" or "ineffective". Yet the much more dangerous gastric bypass is covered, but you are looking at 3-8 year waiting lists for said surgery.

ODSP would only grant me $1,000 towards a bariatric bed that costs $6,000 so that I can eliminate the back pain I have due to an inadequate bed to keep my mobility. However I could get them to shell out $6,000 for a specialized power chair or scooter without very little trouble. Problem with chair/scooter is I don't want one as I want to be able to keep my mobility and try and increase it day by day. The whole reason why I was able to walk and stand more a year ago was because I was sleeping in a hospital bed for 12 weeks and thus had support for my back.

Basically I am hoping that this opens people's eyes to get help for people like myself as we are shunned by the Canadian people and the various levels of government.

I have thoughts and feelings like anyone. I am want to love and be loved. Only problem is I am three times the size of the average adult male so there is merely just more of me. Being accepted is something not all people are able to day.

Anyway this post is sort of all over the place. I am tired and have a million thoughts racing through my head at the moment. It is really hard to convey my feelings through writing, especially if you don't know how I got to be where I am today.

Alright...time for sleep!



I don't really like asking people for money, especially family. I hate the fact that I have to rely on my grandma to help me out with money, and I admit I don't always spend my extra money on "essentials". However without a computer or television to keep me occupied I would have gone nuts by now.

There are not equal opportunities out there like everyone says. No one wants to give someone like me a chance. There are plenty of desk type jobs I could do, however people just look at me and label me a

I think I am more concerned with getting the word out that there are people who need help. The government should be stepping up to help those in need. As I said in my post ODSP, an Ontario government program will pay $5-$6,000 for a motorized chair for me, but they will only give me $1,000 towards a bed? The whole reason I want the bed is to keep my mobility and gradually regain my stamina.

As for the surgery, it would be nice to have a tool in place that would make it hard for me to overeat. With the lap-band it has the problem of nausea and throwing up if you eat too quickly or the food isn't passing between the two pouches fast enough. I hate throwing up so I would deterred into eating too much or too quickly.

Weight loss is not easy and anyone who says otherwise can say it to my face and see where I put foot! lol

Either way tomorrow will be very interesting. I also appreciate your kind words.

November 2016

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